My Journey, My Sun, My Seoul: The End....And The Beginning!

It's been nearly 4 months since my last post, and though I've been meaning to get everyone caught up on our lives well before today, it just hasn't panned out as planned....So goes life with a 2 year old.

When we last updated everyone we were in the last of our holding patterns before traveling to get our boy. Within a couple weeks of our posting we received final approval which meant we could travel to gain custody of our son.

On April 23rd we were boarding a plane to Incheon to do just that. We brought Jen's mother along for this trip for a few reasons.

1. She is full Korean and hadn't been back to her homeland for over 40 years.
2. Translation.....our biggest fear was not being able to communicate with our son.
3. A little extra support never hurts....especially for first timers like us.

Airplane Selfie

We finally got checked into our apartment that evening and began preparing ourselves for custody, which was to take place the next afternoon. We made sure we had gifts prepared for the family, as well as all the required documents we would need for our meeting. We attempted to get a good nights rest...which is nearly impossible with the gravity of the situation hanging over you.

After preparing our apartment the next morning for Makaio's arrival we decided to grab some lunch before heading over to Eastern for custody. I believe it was shortly after the most fantastic bowl of Ghalbi Tang arrived at our table that reality finally hit me like a ton of bricks. Your mind just gets flooded with worry, and doubt, and indescribable emotion. What were we doing?

I vividly remember our 50 minute cab ride to Eastern. Few words were spoken amongst us 3. I think we knew what was about to happen and how it might play out......but sometimes if you just don't talk about it maybe it won't happen.....right?

We arrived at Eastern.....and everyone was there waiting for us. Makaio ran straight up to me calling for his Appa. We were given a good 30-40 minutes to converse with the family and share gifts and stories. It was a blessing to have Jens mom there as she was able to carry on a conversation with Makaio's foster mother and I believe this put her at ease as well. It seemed as soon as we were all hitting our groove we were being rushed up a flight of stairs, out a back door, and next to a waiting van. The next 2-3 minutes was heartbreaking...not just for me and Jen, but for this family that had taken care of our son for going on two years. If you have never experienced this moment, there is nothing in this world that could prepare you for the intensity surrounding it. And before you knew it....Poof.....we were whisked away in a van headed towards a new life.

Makaio saying goodbye to Mrs. Kwon

I've written for two years about the pain and sacrifice that Jennifer and I have had to endure to make it through this process. In an instant I realized the true sacrifice was not our own, but that of the family that raised our little boy. For two years they have raised him as their own, knowing that this day would come. They did it to the fullest extent and with the most love they could muster. This was proven to us later as we opened a hard drive of pictures they sent home with us. A pictorial history of his first two years....the greatest gift we could have ever received. Over 4,000 pictures of his life we would have never known. We could never thank or repay the Kwon's for their sacrifice and we thank God every day Makaio's path to us was through them.

And so the waiting ended.....and our new life began.

Our new life began with lots of grieving, lots of frustration, lots of stress, and lots of tears.

The van ride home from Eastern

Our first night together

To say the least, that first 48 hours was anything but pleasant.We began second guessing what we were doing...asking ourselves how this could be better for him when he was so loved. Watching our son grieve and lash out was heartbreaking enough, throw in the fact that he couldn't communicate to us what he wanted or needed and those emotions were amplified ten fold.

We spent the next 10 days in Seoul as a new family, getting to know one another one day at a time. As time wore on it became easier and easier.....whether that be through an understanding of each other, or a familiarity, or just that we had all decided to put up with one another until it all worked out.

We tried to get out and about a little each day, whether that be to the fish market, or the park, or just a ride on the subway. Makaio really enjoyed being able to explore. With each little outing we were able to see more and more of his personality.

Seoul is a beautiful city, and it is filled with beautiful people. We couldn't have asked for a more family friendly environment to start our journey as a family in. From the parks to the dining experience, everyone is really in tune with the needs of the children. It was so wonderful.

Riding the Subway

Tired from our walk

Checking out the scenery

Makaio loves ice cream

In hindsight we were very fortunate to get those 10 days to spend in Korea with our son. This also gave us the chance to let Jens mom experience the country she left behind some 40 years ago.....a land which she couldn't even recognize on this trip. Korea will definitely be one of our regular stops for years to come, as we feel it is important for Makaio to remember where he came from and to experience the culture much the same as we were able to during this process.

As beautiful and wonderful as Seoul was, by day 14 in Korea we were all looking forward to getting home and adjusting to our new lives in a familiar place. We knew much more change and challenge was waiting for us back home.

The plane ride home was a bit of a challenge. Makaio wasn't a fan of the seat belt which made it difficult for a 2 hour span of mild turbulence. He was fine in those hours out of his chair but those two hours where he needed to be seated felt like an eternity. All in all I would say he did.....ok. That's all I will say about the plane ride as we would like to keep that memory in the past.

This didn't last long

Neither did this

A 12 hour plane ride later.....a 2 hour trip through immigrations and a 3 hour drive from Dallas to Ada....and we were home sweet home.

Jennifer and I were able to each take 6 weeks away from work to settle in as a new family. The moments we shared over this time were instrumental in our transition from a free living couple to family of three. We were able to enjoy visits from aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. We've been able to adjust to schedules and rules and rituals. We were able to learn so much about each other in this time and we were so thankful to be given the opportunity to bond as a family before getting back to real life.

In the 10 weeks since being home Makaio has begun daycare, which he loves. He is thriving socially and has been able to bond with family and friends alike. He is the perfect fit.....someone upstairs knew what he was doing. We are back to work, and believe it or not, it's a nice breather each day.....we all need that I think. And it's wonderful to miss each other. Let's see......he sleeps in his own bed.....at least most nights...eats everything in front of him......naps regularly.......loves his Nommy and Appa........what else can you ask for?

Don't let me fool you.....it has been trying. Sometimes more trying than we would like. He's a smart boy and likes to push his boundaries. Sometimes you find yourself asking what you're doing wrong because it's just so damned hard. But I guess that's what parenting is all about.

Jen and I were asking ourselves that question a couple weeks back and I remember saying......

"If you stop in the moment and step back. If you can see how far we've come....how far he has come.....and everything we have all been through....especially him......It's quite amazing really....where we are today."

As a father I can say I've truly embraced the challenge.....and I tend to find beauty in everything my son does....It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. Makaio has grown to love us both so wholeheartedly. Every day you see a little change in him....he, giving more of himself to us ....and us to him. This experience has changed us all forever....in so many more ways than you could ever imagine.....and we are both so happy and proud to be parents to this awesome, awesome child.

Our little boy that we had prayed for before he was even born is now fully integrated into our lives and our family. This process is not for everyone. Heck, I don't even know if we would be able to survive it a second time. But for those who decide to go down this path, and have the ability to beat back the obstacles, and push forward......for those who can withstand the emotions and turmoil associated with the process......there is something so beautiful waiting at the end of the road.

So while our challenge to get our boy home in our arms has ended......our journey has only just begun.